Operator, what are you doing? Operator. Stahp.

(Alternate title: How Paul ensured that Kel-tec would never send him a product to review, ever.)

Erin Palette posted a review of the Kel-tec C-43 light.

Now, I was skeptical, just like I’m always skeptical of everything Kel-tec puts out until I’ve been convinced that it’s not either made out of potmetal or tremendously poorly designed. I’m not here to argue about this. Three of the four Kel-tec firearms I’ve owned have been more hazardous to the shooter than the shootee. The best design I ever saw from them was the P3AT, and I went through two of them before I got tired of carry guns falling apart and bought Ruger’s superior copy.

In the case of the light, I was willing to give it a chance, because I know from experience how tough the problem of tactical lighting is when you’re a police officer who isn’t allowed to put a light on his gun. (We eventually got the go-ahead to put lights on our guns, and there was much rejoicing, especially on midnights.)

However, my mild optimism came only from the fact that it’s not a terribad design as an off-hand light. Then I saw one of the uses that Kel-tec thinks is OK for this torch.

cl43pistol

NO. No. Nope nope nope nope nope. Stop. Put the gun down. From now on, you are allowed to hold a pistol, or a flashlight, but never both at the same time, until you’ve got this figured out.

I have pointed pistols at people. It sucks. It’s not fun, and it’s not easy. It’s terrifying and stressful. Are you telling me that you’re somehow able to, under stress, grip two objects in one hand, squeezing with your middle finger but not your pointing finger? It’s not going to happen. You are going to point the combo at something, scared out of your wits, and then you are going to put both 420 lumens and a pistol round into that object. Hopefully it’s not one of your kids.

If Kel-tec doesn’t put a warning on the box NOT to attempt to do this, they’re providing a real disservice. Then again, they also tried to sell the KSG to people who might actually have to depend on it, so who knows.