Archive for the 'Conversations' Category

Telephone Customer Service FAIL

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

This exchange just took place with a telephone operator at a company that has provided outstanding customer service in the past:

Operator: How may I direct your call?

Paul: Oh, hi. I think I messed up while navigating your phone system. I’m trying to reach Kevin at extension 11.

Operator: Kevin isn’t available today. Is there another person who can help you?

Paul: Well, it’s not time-sensitive, and Kevin knows our account. I’d be happy to leave a voice mail message.

Operator: Well, let me see if someone else is available to assist you.

Paul: But I don-

(Hold music plays for 90 seconds)

Operator: I’m very sorry for this, Mr. Simer, but there’s nobody else available to help. Will it be OK if I send you to Kevin’s voice mail?

Paul: I suppose I will have to make do. Thanks.

Felons, Thieves, and Idiots in Retail Firearms

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

This afternoon on my way home from work I stopped by a local sporting goods store to see if they had received their broken Kahr PM9 back from the service department yet. They had not, but I spotted something under the counter that had not been there before: a completed DPMS AR-15 lower at a price low enough to make me wonder if I wanted to assemble my own after all. While I was looking at it, the salesman asked me what kind of AR I was looking to build:

Paul: Well, I’ll probably go with a light-weight, no-frills carbine. It’s my first, so I want to save money where I can and get a short, handy first rifle.

Salesman: And that lower would be great for that. In fact, you could get a 10.5″ upper online if you’re willing to risk it.

Paul: And become a felon, sure.

Now folks, I don’t like the NFA any more than the next guy. The $200 tax stamp required for SBRs, the paperwork, and the wait are annoying, but not nearly as annoying as skipping them, getting caught, and having “FELON” stamped onto your background checks for the rest of your days. Not to mention the whole going to jail and losing the right to vote and own firearms. As I’ve stated before, I don’t consider legality and morality to be intrinsically linked, but let’s not be stupid here: $200, though unjust, is not the end of the world. I know folks with SBRs, and aside from the wait the process was no big deal. It’s a violation of my rights, but not enough of a violation to justify an action that could take me away from my family for a few years, and away from productive employment for a lifetime. All that is an especially bad idea for a “feature” on an AR that sacrifices a large portion of its utility.

As I was processing this, I overheard the following exchange:

Customer: Man, that EOTech sight sighted in like nothin! I got it off eBay for $400, and you can’t beat that!

Salesman: Yeah, I like them a lot. I’ve got one on my rifle at home.

(It should be noted that earlier, when I asked if they had any fixed or folding AR sights, he tried to sell me a $30 red dot.)

Customer: They say that mine can be used with night vision gear. I can’t afford it, but it sure looks nice.

Salesman: Yeah, and you don’t see much of it. Most of the newer night vision stuff you see at shows are from the military. Soldiers just write ‘em off as losses and take ‘em home to sell. Hell, I’m going off to war myself soon, and I’m planning to stick a few in my bag when I come back.

First off, I must point out that Gen III NVDs are available to anyone, though it’s worth noting that there are export restrictions. Pricey, yes, but perfectly legal.

Making a personal decision to break what most consider to be an unjust law (unregistered SBR) is one thing. Advocating noncompliance with such laws from a storefront is stupid, but I’m not going to judge. Announcing that one is planning to steal from the US Government for personal gain, though? I mean, he knows everyone in that room pays for that stuff, right? Do people have no shame?

I’m just about sure that a complaint letter to the owner is in order. What do you guys think? How would you approach this? This guy is giving firearm retailers and gun-owners everywhere a bad name, but it’s possible that he’s not the only one and that such a letter would be ignored.

In any case, I won’t be purchasing that Kahr, or anything else, from that establishment unless they kick the guy to the curb.

Dumpster Diving Is Not A Crime

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

Paul is walking down the street. It’s a beautiful day, and it’s more fun to be outside than on the treadmill. Besides, not as many cats attack his legs when he walks outside.

Paul: Oh look, a pile of crap out by the curb, with a stereo receiver on top! Hey, this thing is a new-looking 5.1 cheapo-brand version!

Paul picks up the receiver and puts it under an arm. It’s .8 miles back home, but it won’t hurt him to carry it. After all, he’s out for exercise.  He roots through the box underneath, finding only a couple of old plates and some adult magazines. Suddenly, he hears a door slam!

Lady from house: You can’t take things off of mah properteh!

Paul: Oh, I’m so sorry! Were you not throwing this stuff away?

Lady: Yeah, but you can’t take it off mah properteh!

Paul: Well, if I don’t take it, the trash man will when he comes by tomorrow. Would you take a dollar for it?

Feeling annoyed but not wanting to start anything, Paul sets the receiver down and gets out his wallet.

Lady: Fine! Screw it!

The door slams. The lady is gone. Paul schleps the receiver home, and finds that it powers up, clicks, then immediately shuts off. Paul still wonders what is wrong with it, but knows it can’t be too serious.

Wait… you don’t know?

Friday, September 22nd, 2006
zomg.jpg

Steps to Nationhood

Sunday, September 10th, 2006

Ever helpful, Willie George has lovingly crafted a flag worthy of my fledgling nation, as described in this post.

Thanks. I think. I asked for shotguns, but beggars can’t be choosers.
simer-flag.jpg

 

Late-Night Beginings of World Domination

Friday, September 8th, 2006

(00:55:10) Paul Simer: I’m trying to think of a good name to call you that is appropriate to the place you now live
(00:55:14) Paul Simer: Dorm-serf
(00:55:20) Andy Morris:
(00:55:21) Paul Simer: that’s pretty good
(00:55:36) Andy Morris: what are you a tsar
(00:55:51) Paul Simer: I am the king of my townhome.
(00:55:59) Andy Morris: Tyrant.
(00:56:08) Paul Simer: Yeah, that does sound better, doesn’t it?
(00:56:15) Andy Morris: THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE SPEAKS
(00:56:20) Paul Simer: Only the cats lead daily insurrections against me
(00:56:25) Andy Morris: We must have liberty!!
(00:56:36) Paul Simer: *bang!* *bang!*
(00:56:42) Andy Morris: Do you send them to the guillotines
(00:56:49) Paul Simer: Now, anyone have any bright heroic ideas?
(00:56:52) Andy Morris: lol
(00:57:08) Paul Simer: We have our own fiat currency
(00:57:44) Andy Morris: Your national population growth is stagnant
(00:58:00) Andy Morris: Tourism is high on certain days
(00:58:10) Paul Simer: Actually, I’m creating a kingdom that encompases an ever-growing sphere around me
(00:58:18) Andy Morris: Ah
(00:58:27) Andy Morris: So I should call you Bismarck
(00:58:44) Paul Simer: The cars out back recently went from “Most favored trading partner” to “Colony” and now I’m moving them into “Territory” status
(00:58:53) Andy Morris: lol
(00:59:19) Andy Morris: Planning on invading and annexing the neighbors
(00:59:37) Paul Simer: And re: population growth, we’ve grown 33% in the last three months
(00:59:57) Paul Simer: I’m raising the funds to equip a standing army, but I think I’ll need to draft
(01:00:02) Andy Morris: lol
(01:00:14) Andy Morris: Taxes?
(01:00:23) Andy Morris: Tariffs on imported goods such as pizza
(01:00:34) Paul Simer: We have a VAT
(01:00:50) Andy Morris: You have a vat?
(01:00:58) Paul Simer: A value-added tax
(01:01:00) Andy Morris: Ah
(01:01:05) Paul Simer: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VAT
(01:01:38) Andy Morris: You need a flag
(01:01:45) Paul Simer: heck yeah.
(01:02:06) Paul Simer: It will involve mountain dew
(01:02:23) Andy Morris: and cats
(01:02:31) Paul Simer: ok I’ve got it
(01:02:37) Andy Morris: and guns
(01:02:39) Paul Simer: A mountain dew in the background
(01:02:53) Andy Morris: and bears that shoot lasers out of their eyes
(01:02:53) Paul Simer: With a cat stretched across it
(01:03:03) Paul Simer: and a shotgun criss-crossing it
(01:03:09) Andy Morris:
(01:03:15) Andy Morris: IT’S BRILLIANT
(01:03:24) Paul Simer: I knew you would say that, because it is.
(01:03:35) Andy Morris: /worship