Posted Rules Signs (Blocking Out the Scenery, Breaking My Mind)



  • No cheating.
  • No stealing.
  • No aggressive or violent behavior.
  • No foul language.
  • Follow staff instructions at all times.

Why the crap would you need any of these rules posted in order to set the expectation that those behaviors are unacceptable?

You would probably say something to someone who was gutting a live raccoon on one of your card tables, but do you think that you need to have a “no raccoon vivisection” rule posted?

  • No drinking or drug use.

Do you really run the kind of establishment where this is a problem? Do you really think that someone is going to post a negative review because you wouldn’t let them do PCP at your tournament, but he didn’t have a sign to let him know that he couldn’t do illegal drugs in your store?

  • Do not lean on the counter. Counter is unsteady and could tip over.

This sign will not save you from liability when someone leans on your counter and it gives way underneath them. Buy better fixtures.

  • Prices on Magic cards may or may not be up to date.

What is it that you would say you DO for a living, anyway? Either get back to work or fix your process so that it requires less effort.

  • Please ask staff members for prices on cards.

How’s it feel to run a make-pretend business? Spouse with a good job, right?

  • All customers are expected to bathe regularly and wear appropriate clothing.

Way to feed the stereotype to every person who walks in the door, buddy. Tell your staff to gently inform problem customers that they need to take care of their hygiene before they return. Don’t hire cowards.

  • Do not adjust this thermostat.

Maybe you should get a locking cover or a password-protected thermostat, because this sign isn’t going to do anything to stop someone who thinks it’s appropriate to touch someone else’s thermostat.

The very first thing I did the night I bought my store is walk around and tear down all the rule sheets. It’s been five years yesterday, and I’ve never regretted having high expectations of my staff and customers. Posting a ridiculous sign signals to everyone involved that you run a problematic place with problematic people. We address the problems like reasonable human beings, and ask unreasonable people to leave.

Bad behavior isn’t accepted here, and the staff is empowered to deal with it when it happens. If they’re not sure about a situation, they call me. When my job mostly stopped involving time behind the counter, I got a few of these phone calls every week. Then one or two a month. Now I get none. The competitor across town has rules posted everywhere and no end of problems. All our banned players play there.

Here’s our only posted rule:

Drama Llama