It’s Less Awkward Every Time I Do It

One of my favorite conversations to have:

Customer: Why are you taking a picture of my ID?
Paul: Because you’ve traded in the same games three times. I believe them to be stolen, so I’m collecting evidence to send to the police.
Customer: You don’t have to do all that.
Paul: I don’t, but I really, really enjoy it. Here’s your games and your ID. Get out and don’t come back.


Unemployed, Unemployed, Does Whatever the Unemployed Do

*ring ring*
Paul: Game Store, this is Paul!
Caller: Do you have Spiderman?
Paul: For what system?
Caller: What do you mean?
Paul: I mean, what game system do you have?
Caller: What does that have to do with it? I just want Spiderman!
Paul: I know that, but there are lots of different systems, with Spiderman games for all of them.
Caller: Well, it’s a PS2, OK? Geez.
Paul: OK, then, lemme check.
Caller: Don’t put me on hold!
Paul: I’m not putting you on hold, I’m looking it up in our computer. There. It shows that we have two copies of Spiderman 3 for the PS2.
Caller: Can you check on your shelf, in case the computer is wrong?
Paul: *takes about three minutes to find it among 1000+ games* Yep, got it right here. $5.
Caller: OK, what about The Hulk?
Paul: No, we don’t have a copy of that for PS2.
Caller: What about Superman?
Paul: Yes sir, I’ve got that. It’s $5.
Caller: OK. Maybe I’ll come get those once I have some job and get some money.
Paul: ಠ_ಠ

Three Stages of Trade-in Grief

The three stages of drug-addled trade-in customer grief, or maybe delusion:

1. “I’ve got AT LEAST $2,000 invested in these cards/games. I’d like to get at least half of that back. Why are you looking at me like that?”
2. “Look, if I can just get $100 to pay my phone bill and get some cigarettes, I’ll be OK with that.”
3. “$88.40? You guys are the best! Thanks!”