Three Stages of Trade-in Grief

The three stages of drug-addled trade-in customer grief, or maybe delusion:

1. “I’ve got AT LEAST $2,000 invested in these cards/games. I’d like to get at least half of that back. Why are you looking at me like that?”
2. “Look, if I can just get $100 to pay my phone bill and get some cigarettes, I’ll be OK with that.”
3. “$88.40? You guys are the best! Thanks!”